Personal Experience

 I began my healing journey over 20 years ago, when I realized that my life had been deeply impacted by generational trauma and addiction in my family. Over the next 10 years, I dove into various ways to learn and cope with the effects of this trauma; through reading, reiki, therapy, and even becoming a yoga instructor. Along the way, at age 35, I learned that I had been deceived about the identity of my biological father.

That discovery happened in one conversation, and instantly a lifetime of moments flashed before me; moments of gaslighting, of lies, of pained silences. In that single moment, my identity was shattered. It took six years for me to heal and reconcile all of the changes and emotional upheaval of that experience. I was broken and re-built my identity one difficult step at a time. Going through that process  only deepened my focus on understanding generational trauma, the effects of traumatic events, and post-traumatic growth.

In the years that followed, I studied trauma as a doctoral student and focused my research on understanding how teachers are affected by working closely every day with traumatized students. Ironically, soon after earning that degree, I experienced the second major betrayal in my life when I discovered that my husband was living a double life. He had been hiding a life of hidden alcohol addiction, sex addiction and infidelity.  Again, in one surreal moment, all the pillars that held up my identity crashed to the ground. There is nothing to explain that moment if you have not been through it. The room spins and the reel of your life plays as you see all the moments where you realize you were lied to by the person you had trusted. 

Again, I was shattered. I felt every emotion. And I dove, even deeper, into understanding the essence to what happens when we experience profound betrayal trauma. I immersed myself in research about attachment, avoidance, substance and process addictions, intimacy anorexia and compartmetalization to understand how and why people betray- first themselves and then those they love. I worked deeply on PTSD recovery, Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder, Post-Traumatic Growth, boundaries, intuition, gaslighting, betrayal blindness and identity transformation.

I have been through the crucible of betrayal more than once and I really do understand how it feels. I understand how to piece yourself back together with a renewed clarity and sense of purpose about both your own life and your relationships. It is not fast, it takes time, and time alone won't heal this trauma. You need real tools, real community, and real talk from people who have walked this road and made it out of the confusion. Let me say this: in every way possible - 

Betrayal IS Trauma

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Professional Experience

I have over 25 years of experience as an educator. This experience includes years of teaching all subjects and grade levels in public schools, three years of experience as a high school principal, over 10 years as a college professor teaching courses for other teachers. I have a doctorate (Ed.D) in educational leadership with a research focus on trauma. My research study and dissertation were about Secondary Traumatic Stress in K12 Teachers.